


Paradise Refracted

by Elane_in_the_Shadows



Category: Red Queen - Victoria Aveyard
Genre: Action, Depression, F/F, F/M, Mental Illness, Montfort, Post-RQ, War Storm, War Storm Spoilers, after the ending - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-08
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-05-19 16:19:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,408
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14877198
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elane_in_the_Shadows/pseuds/Elane_in_the_Shadows
Summary: Post War Storm! Contains major spoilers.A whole new life opens up for Elane Haven and Evangeline Samos. Montfort seems like a paradise, one Elane is willing to enter and enjoy in full. But while she tries to make up for the pain and heartache she endured, Evangeline is less certain of her place - and whether her wounds will heal.





	1. Elane

**Elane POV**

**The wind rustled** in my ears, heralding the onset of autumn. I breathed in. Even the air of Ascendant tasted crisp. The seasonal change undeniable now, even when the sun was shining. The difference was palpable in the fragrances the winds carried, and by the faint fog. I wanted to believe the shift from summer to fall meant a transition in my life as well. It was a beautiful thing to imagine.

Autumn had always been my favourite season, for its combination of bright colours and dim twilight, a visual feast for a shadow like me. And for how the warm days reared and pitched for the last times, making each time they occasioned a greater joy for their rarity.

As much as I loved contemplating the nature with her peace and her power, I knew it was some kind of delusion. Of course there was a difference, and it had less to do with the seasons and much more with Montfort herself, a place far away from any place I’d ever called home. Everything had looked, tasted, smelled strange from the moment I’d set foot in here. It hadn’t unsettled me then, nor did it now. The mountain air here was colder and thinner, but for me, it meant it was freer, lighter and easier to live in as well. Eve had told me so much before and so far, Montfort had more than kept her promise.

Today was rather cold, yet I wasn’t bothered, not even by my bare knees between my boots and lacy skirt. And my dark woollen coat was perfect for this weather. I let the sunlight dance around me, turning my hair to shades as fiery as the foliage of the park. That was a combination that hadn’t changed its allurement, but here, I could enjoy it in the open. I didn’t feel the need to shroud myself in invisibility in Ascendant.

* * *

**I found Eve** waiting for me, lounging in a metal chair with her eyes closed. Exhausted from training after she’d returned from a raider fight late the night before, she wore simple fatigues and a sweater, her hair tamed in a lose bun. Raider fights were that kind of assignment she never hesitated to follow, while she met pretty much everything else with lethargy. I didn’t blame her, she’d always been a warrior first, and it was hard to let go of what you were groomed to be. But I sensed there was more to it she wanted to hide.

She sat up and focused on me as I approached – and my pendant stirred and warmed under my collarbones. Eve has given it to me as a present before I’d left her for Montfort, as a method to locate me. I hadn’t lied to her. “Putting it on is a symbol of trust, love,” I’d said. “I _let_ you track me with it, and I can always take it off.”

Something had flickered in her eyes, but she’d only shrugged. “Of course. But,” she’d caressed my arm, “once we have the need to find each other, it’ll be helpful, as it is for Tolly and me.”

There were times now when I didn’t wear it, a rose forged from copper and lined with gold, often I did just to make a point. I could turn invisible and run far, far away, searching my luck on my own. If I wanted. But I’d hidden and run away for too long. What I craved was to share my life with Eve, and all the beauty, freedom, and happiness I found in Montfort.

Today, I’d out on the pendant intentionally, for our date in Lord Carmadon Davidson’s café. I beamed at Eve, an expression that had become delightfully common and honest. I hoped Eve loved my smiles, as I cherish every time she tried to match it, released from the pretends the Nortan court and our houses had demanded form us. And yet, her shows of affection remained subdued, continuously decreased by the matters gnawing at her.

I leaned over her, taking her hands and kissing her, wishing to wake her from her stupor. Usually, it worked, and did so today. Barely.

“I hope this location lives up to the expectations you created,” Eve said as we parted, and tucked my hair behind my ear. I pulled her up, moving slowly to the counter with her.

“Absolutely,” I said, assessing the vast set of offers on display. “Here we can find the best food in the world. I’ve tried them.” I grinned. “I mean, I’m halfway through so far.” I caught a smile from Eve, just before I ordered chocolate peanut cakes for us, the best dessert in the world. Eve leaned on me. Heavily. I supported her, stroking her back and looking for a nice place to sit. Again, she slumped down once I’d decided on a couch.

“Are you alright, Eve?” I asked.

She nodded. But while I devoured my cake with satisfaction, enjoying the way it _crunched_ , she stared at her plate and played with her fork. “If you’re not hungry,” I said, “I’ll gladly eat your piece, too.” I spoke lightly, with a grin. Yet she turned defensive, beneath a cheerful expression that seemed painfully false.

“If you recommend it, I have to eat it,” she said, and took a first bite. She didn’t appear disgusted, while not delighted either. Rather like she didn’t taste much at all.

I made a fist, breathed in and out. I wished I knew what her problem was. What she hated about Montfort, and what she missed here. I reminded myself that I would not neglect her as she’d neglected me, a scar still able to make me bleed, although Eve had apologized and continued to do so.

“I want to go home after dinner,” she said eventually. “I’m too tired for the clubs.”

“Sure.” It worried me.

Her face lightened. “And you’ve made our apartment so pretty.” She tilted her head. “I wonder, are you spending our whole allowance on it?”

I cleared my throat. “Besides food? Yes, I do.” Her eyes widened. “Look, Eve, the money is given to us, I use it. Because it’s … temporary. I want to make the best of it, to build us a home here, before – ” I shrugged. “See, I want to settle down and make a living here, not depending on the Davidsons’ good grace.” I squinted. “I’ve had enough of that.”

Nothing if this should’ve been a surprise. And yet, it unsettled Eve. I reached for her hand and still she looked like falling into a hole. “Love – “

“Great, how well you fit in here, Elane,” she sneered. “You’re even hanging out with Barrow’s sister.”

“That’s unfair, I’m just making friends. It helps to socialize, in a new place.”

“In Norta – “

“In Norta,” I hissed, “I did what I had to do as well, and I hated it. No one was our friend there. Only rivals and enemies.” I squeezed her hand tighter. “Can’t you give this place a chance?” I said quietly. “We can be happy, finally.”

But the darkness lingered in her eyes. She licked her lips, her teeth. “I … nothing feels like home, no matter how hard I try. I’m … miserable. And … ” she stopped.

I moved over to her. “You’re depressed, I get it.”

_I won’t let go of you._

“These last months were hard on you.”

_I’ll listen to you, no matter how long it takes to make you speak._

“But we have each other, and Tolly and Wren.”

She cackled. I winced, but I wouldn’t give in now, wouldn’t back away.

“I’m not sure you understand,” Eve said and got up.

“Then explain. Let me help you,” I called, but she was about to leave, maybe to train even more, or to cry tears I wasn’t supposed to see any longer. She hesitated only for a few last words. “But that’s the problem, Elane. I don’t know how to help myself. Or what’s wrong. Everything is so _perfect_ here.”

I ran after her.

* * *

**It started on** the way to Montfort. I’d waited for her, so we could meet in the middle, wishing all went as planned. I couldn’t be sure. But I believed in Eve, in our future. And when we found each other, when Tolly and Wren were with her, I wasn’t even that surprised. My faith had proved right.

While they were exhausted, and relieved at best, I was exhilarated. I spoke of plans, possibilities, craved to hear more about Montfort. Sometimes, I felt a bit naïve to be so hopeful, but everything was better than before, even travelling on foot with scarce supplies. There was joy and excitement in insecurity, compared to the restrictions that had ruled my life recently.

As I hardly received answers from my companions, I talked about the news I’d gathered myself, about the Lakelander retreat, or Maven Calore’s funeral, and Tiberias’s abdication. About Mare Barrow and the Red General announcing the new laws in the Nortan regions, and the conflicts expected in the next years.

“You’re better informed than us,” Tolly teased me.

“Of course she is,” Wren countered. “Natural curiosity is the main attribute of a great spy.” Those two were fun as always, my best friends. I was glad finally nothing was standing between Wren and me now, a divorce from Tolly would be hardly be an effort in Ascendant, the capital of Montfort Eve had visited previously. I’d even packed all certificates and ledgers I could carry to make sure of it.

Eve’s spirit didn’t rise as ours did, rather something was dragging her lower and lower, even after several days of hiking. I believed she needed time to adjust, to get used to the idea of a new life, to let go of The Before. But I had to learn it couldn’t be as simple as that, not when she crawled into my sleeping bag at night, crying soundlessly but harder than for years.

She and Tolly had told me what had happened in Archeon, with their parents. I felt sorry for them, yet I’d felt that way and commiserated them for a long time. Still, I realized something had transpired I wasn’t able to grasp, no matter how hard I tried. Not until Eve would open up to me, and herself, and even then, I was no longer certain the life we’d dreamed of would ever become real.

 

 


	2. Elane

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAR STORM SPOILERS! Not much happening (yet). Domestic, smut and fashion, if it pleases you ;-)

**Elane POV**

**I followed Evangeline** in the twilight’s dusk, her silver hair, now loose, shining like a beacon. Quickly, she exited the Main Plaza and entered the First Street with the most exquisite shops in Ascendant. Eve was the better athlete, and while I wasn’t a bad one myself, I was glad I wore flat heels today, to keep up with her easier. I pulled the seams of my open coat together, not wasting time on closing it. I wondered if Eve wanted me to chase her, or if she was exhausted after her training session, and whether the latter meant she intended to burn off all the nervous energy that remained in her.

Eve turned around another corner, leading us into a side street away from the main streets’ light shades of glass, marble and concrete and into an area filled with houses painted in darker colours and built from woods and bricks, housing smaller shops and establishments for the more particular tastes.

It was also close to our home and finally, Eve stopped. And I reached out to her to hug her from behind. She leaned against me, her hands enwrapping mine.

“Why did you run?” I murmured.

In front of me, she panted. “I had to …” was her sole reply, and I was relieved to receive this at least. Once the lilac hues of dusk changed to the poppy ones of the street lanterns, Eve shoved my hands away and turned to me to kiss me on the lips. I smiled under her touch, aware how difficult it was for her to display affection in public. Seconds later, she pulled away and pointed. “Let’s get us dinner from there and head home,” she proposed.

* * *

**Little remained of** her exhaustion on the way to our apartment, only a knowing eye would notice the certain slow heaviness in her movements, those of a person who’d fulfilled her daily pensum of harsh training. But she didn’t allow herself an idle minute, and once the door was open, she fluttered around to prepare our private dinner, getting out the tableware, placing our meals, choosing a wine and filling our glasses. She made me blush by treating me like a guest in our own home. I giggled, delighted by the dishes she’d ordered for us, yet when I watched her devour her food, I couldn’t help wondering whether she wasn’t rather trying to shove away her hunger instead of sating it.

“I’ll take a bath,” I announced once we’d finished. “Care to join me?”

Although amused, she shook her head. “I’ll clean this up.”

I frowned but kissed her nonetheless. “You’re getting quite domestic, Eve,” I said.

She shrugged. “Can we help doing chores?”

I smiled and went for the bathroom yet when I sank into the water, I began to worry again. Eve _really_ was unable to stay idle, always searching for new tasks, activities and company. I found myself unable to relax as intended. I emerged quickly, drying my hair only so much it wouldn’t drip and put on a flimsy nightgown. Briefly, I considered using make-up, then remembered the moonlight tonight would offer the best styling.

Eve was lying on our bed, staring at the wall we’d painted with the night sky, a mural currently competing with the view from the windows. I bit my lips at her sight, wishing to chase away the grim feelings she fought in those moments. And I was the perfect distraction, wearing only fragrance, the rose pendant, and the short nightgown of black lace and silk that left little to the imagination while the rest of my skin was bathed in moonlight.

Her eyes followed me as I positioned myself for the best effect. I saw her hunger and desired to quench it. I sat down and bent over her, so close we could share the air we breathed. Already, her hands rose to sink into my red curls before they started to roam over the rest of my body and I climbed over her, taking in the smell of her hair, her skin, _herself_. I noticed the simple smell of the perfume she preferred. _Silly me_ , I realized, _she must’ve showered after training, that’s why she didn’t bath with me_. Between kisses on her throat, I whispered words of endearment into her ear. It woke her spirit for good. Fervently, she shoved me over, took off the few undergarments she wore, and pulled the sheet over us. After more kisses on my breasts and tickling fingers on my thighs, she removed my nightgown, finally.

As much as from the physical release, I came at the realization that our love-making remained the same collision of bodies and souls as ever. To my relief. It gave me hope our relationship would stay the same too, despite the massive changes in our lives.

* * *

**“Too bad you** aren’t into lingerie,” I said. “I’d love to go shopping them with you.” The corners of Eve’s mouth twitched, yet she didn’t answer. “Although,” I went on, “I’ve noticed your style has changed a little, Eve. You wear less metals now?” A lightly remark, a carefully casual question. Her amusement waned still.

“They grew heavy on me,” she replied, her lips closing in a firm line. I didn’t prod further, knowing this admission had already been hard on her. All I could do was gathering breadcrumbs when it came to the labyrinth in Evangeline Samos’s soul.

I’d remember them though, and ponder on their meanings for days.

“Well, you can always go shopping clothes for me,” I said. “I wish to change my style, too. There’s such freedom once House colours are mandatory no longer.”

“Why, you look majestic in black, love,” Eve said to my surprise, and my relief.

I giggled. “Oh, I still like it, but I’d prefer to have the whole rainbow in my closet.” I leaned on my side and pulled at the bedsheet. “When I met Gisa Barrow yesterday, we talked about it. I imagined a white and frilly dress, embroidered with hundreds of crystals, so I can make myself a prism, a ball of rainbows.” I laughed at myself for a second. “But Gisa wasn’t as amused, not at all.” My sudden earnestness awoke Eve’s interest. “Of course not,” I added. “I felt ashamed after I said it, it sounded like I was ordering her to make that dress for me. Like she was still a servant at my beck and call.”

Concern flashed on Eve’s face. “I retreated then, said I’d provide the money and materials, that it was only an idea, and all that.” I sighed. “Still, I knew I have to be more considerate next time. All times.”

“Yes,” Eve said quietly.

“She’s so young, too,” I added, and shook my head. I took Eve’s hand and weaved my fingers with hers, drawing her attention back to me. “But you could make me a glorious dress as well,” I whispered. “A gown made of gold, strong as armour, but elegant and shining like a flame.” I grinned, coaxing a smile out of Eve. “I want to be the most radiant person in the room. At all parties.”

Eve leaned into me. “Can you do that for me?” I purred. And her head fell against my neck, her giggled tickling my skin, and the sounds felt more satisfying than the sex we had.

I caressed her back as she whispered to me in turn. “I’m not so sure, love. A dress of gold might be too heavy for anyone who isn’t a magnetron, nor would it make good armour.”

“It’s for the aesthetic, Eve!”

She laughed. “Okay, but can we really afford _that_? Maybe we could combine gold leaf and scales fixed on fabric? Or gold tread woven into fabric?”

“Cloth of gold,” I confirmed, remembering what I’d read in history books. “But that way, we’ll still need someone with Gisa’s skills.”

“Or I learn to tailor and sew,” she offered to my astonishment.

“Would you?” I smirked at the idea. “But … maybe, I approach Gisa about it again. We’ll see if she can withstand the temptation of an artistic challenge – with you.”

“With me? Not against?” she asked, flustered.

“It’s not your fault, Eve,” I said quietly, although I was aware her hesitation wasn’t unfounded. While I was befriending Gisa and her girlfriend, Vanessa, Eve didn’t accompany when I met them. For the same reason, Wren and Tolly lived on the other side of the city, and all of us avoided the Main Plaza at all costs when General Farley strolled around with her daughter in the mornings.

“She might just think we’re as debauched as before,” Eve pondered. “And the truth is, I’d love to. Debauchery is such a good distraction ….”

I hugged Eve tighter. “Trust me,” I whispered, and yawned. “I’ll act as a bridge.” But like always, I wished she trusted in me in many more ways as we fell asleep in each other’s arms.

* * *

**I woke too** early for my taste. But the sirens’ cries put a stop to my rest. Eve, like always, was up immediately and sitting up straight. Despite the noise, I enjoyed the sight of Eve in the morning light, when she hadn’t put her public face on yet, and a sliver of purity lingered on her.

“Another raider attack,” she grumbled. Already she slid off the bed and stretched to get ready for battle.

The sobriety of it all chased away my sleepiness. “I’ll come with you,” I announced to her shock.


	3. Evangeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAR STORM SPOILERS!

**Evangeline POV**

**When the sirens** started their cries, I jumped up, out of the bed. It took me three seconds to put on my underwear, another three to get my battle suit. I threw it towards the bathroom, stretched my legs, arms and back and moved to go there myself.

I didn’t allow myself to be nervous and prepared with a deadly routine. _Don’t bother with fear_ , I told myself, _fighting is good. Challenges are good. Distraction is good_.

Anything was better than idle minutes leaving me alone with thoughts that would only threaten to drag me down into the abyss. I would not let that happen, all I had to do was to occupy myself every moment of every day and run away from the hole in my soul.

“I’ll come with you,” Elane said from the bed and stabbed me through the heart.

“No,” I snapped, turning my head.

“Don’t stop me,” she replied in this soft tone, way to understanding. She wouldn’t quarrel with me over this, but appeal to the dark part of me, the one carrying the memories of the last months with my parents, when both she and I were trapped in cages.

I had no right to tell her what to do. “Fine,” I murmured. “But hurry.” She smiled faintly, and my worries soared again. _Don’t be careless, love_. But I entered the bathroom without looking back.

I pulled on my battle suit, moulding thin metal sheets on my chest, calves and arms. No plate armour, no steel-capped boots. I was long done with the weight of chromium dragging me down, I had a better technique now. _I_ was better now.

Elane was finally up, as sleepy in the morning as ever. I fixed my hair, braiding and coiling it on my head, without a stray hair left – such would only distract me from my tasks. I belted the sheaths of my two favourite knives and put on a protective vest, and then I was done. I realized I could go, run out of the door, leave Elane behind and tell my team to set off without her. I glanced at her digging through the closet to find her weapons and armour, having been unused for weeks.

I bit back a remark and added make-up to my outfit. War paint. The raiders had to know me by now, so I could live up to my reputation. Let them face a demon.

Leaving the bathroom, I was greeted with a _swish_ and a blade at my throat.

Elane gleamed at me, her smile wicked and as radiant as the diamond glass dagger pointed at me. “Didn’t see that one coming?” she asked.

I shook my head and grinned. “I forgot about it.” House Haven was proud of their diamond glass weapons, used as prisms and as hidden blades, undetectable and not to be influenced by magnetrons.

I took her hand that held the dagger. “Good idea, the raiders have a lot of magnetrons. I’ll be the one to take care of them but you’ll have to be careful about the silencers.”

She fingered her rose pendant. “I see,” she sighed. “Then I might have to take this off at some point.”

I nodded sourly. “The General and her Reds will look out for the silencers.” My eyes travelled over Elane’s appearance. At least she wore a protective vest as well and had a standard gun and knives she could discard if necessary. That didn’t mean I stopped to fear for her. With her hair pulled up into a ponytail and the fiery curls falling on her shoulders, she was so beautiful I was unable to imagine her in the dirty, bloody battle to come.

But I had to accept her decision, as she respected my boundaries. I let her be and Elane would do nothing risky. I hoped.

* * *

**“…it’s too early** to return, Farley,” Barrow said down at the meeting place. “Too early for me. If I saw him, I would … I’d have to congratulate him for his birthday or something.”

The General patted her shoulder. “It’s not Archeon. We’d only fly to Tuck and return here. For the … anniversary.” Her voice became quiet.

“But he could still be there, because of – ” Barrow stopped and turned to Elane and me. “Deigning to join us, lovebirds?” she asked us, her insecurity from before washed away.

“We are,” Elane announced with her arms crossed.

The General nodded. “Don’t want to see the shopping district ravaged, Haven?” she sneered. Obviously, she was in a particularly foul mood this morning and looked awfully tired. _Didn’t your baby let you sleep last night?_ I wondered. But that was something I’d never say aloud to her.

But Elane smiled sweetly. “Indeed, General. We all have our reasons to fight, do they matter to you?”

Farley smiled back, equally sweet. “That depends. But I’ll find a task for you, don’t worry, Haven.” She shoved us to the transport waiting for us. It was the last one, so I wasn’t surprised we hadn’t met Tolly and Wren – they had to be in another vehicle.

“Worried, Samos?” The General barely spared me a glance. “Your brother doesn’t come with us, by the way. Since Mare,” she grinned at her friend, “takes again part in a mission, I have ordered him to guard the city instead.”

I grimaced. She loved those games, goading me and my brother every time I assumed she’d given up on her revenge.

“So you suspect the raiders in the outskirts are only bait, again?” Elane asked. “Like when Eve was here the first – “

“When Princess Iris freed our hostages and murdered children?” The General interrupted her. “Yes. We have to count on the raiders to work together with the Lakelanders and with Piedmont.”

“Only them?” Elane inquired, earning frowns from us. “Maybe the premier should consider a more permanent solution about the raiders, or they’ll continue to be thorns in our sides at the least opportune moments.”

I smirked at her advices, feeling proud. Likely Elane missed taking part in the schemes of court life and couldn’t help acting on the suspicions of her sharp mind.

But Barrow only snorted. “ ‘Our,’ ” she said drily.

“Indeed,” Elane purred nonchalantly. “Haven’t you heard? Eve and I are Montfortans now.”

“Of course you are,” Barrow sighed.

“No, I’m serious,” Elane said. “If the raiders work with our enemies, we can’t treat them like common criminals.”

The General cackled. “And what do you propose, _my lady_?”

Elane shrugged while I wished to wiped that sneer off Farley’s face. Instead I looked only at my love. “I suppose the premier already tried peaceful methods,” she said. “If those didn’t work, Montfort should consider taking those disputed lands and scourge their bases. For good.”

Barrow seemed uncomfortable, the General stayed quiet. “And?” I asked, taking the lead. Elane gave me an amused glance.

The General fumbled with her rifle, Barrow crossed her legs. They had their own nonverbal conversation going on, until Barrow straightened. “Well, Farley and I are Scarlet Guard,” she said politely. Fake. “Guests in Montfort. We won’t start military operations on our own here.” She raised an eyebrow.

Elane shrugged again, still unperturbed. “It was just a reminder. Curiosity. But I’ll speak with Premier Davidson about the topic myself when we meet him the next time.”

Farley cleared her throat. “No, you have a point, Haven.” I was stunned. “That’ll be your mission today: Haven, you sneak after the raiders, looking out for their back-up and base.”

“Or for any evidence of collaboration with the enemy nations.” Elane’s eyes gleamed.

“We understand us.” The General inclined her head.

* * *

**The transport stopped** at the edge of a forest from which a plain was visible. A plain where cycles roared in the distance. “Let’s get out and make some rash decisions,” said Barrow with a grin. The General gave her a friendly shove.

We joined the soldiers already in formation. Although that wasn’t our tactic here; or at least, not mine. General Farley and her Montfort colleagues positioned their soldiers as they saw fit, so Barrow climbed on a ledge while Farley’s glare ordered me towards the cycles and their riders, and Elane into the origin of our foes. I spared one last glance at our comrades, checking for healers and teleporters, and found them, to my relief.

Elane waited for me. I hugged her one more time, before we set off in our intended destinations.


	4. Evangeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAR STORM SPOILERS

**Evangeline POV**

**I kept looking** after Elane, futilely as she was invisible, but the pulse of her pendant gave me a hint to her general direction as she moved away farther and farther.

_You’re still a fast runner, love._

I forced my focus back to the enemies at hand, charging toward us. I started to pull at guns and threw them away and changed the ways of their bullets. As if a bullet could hit me, when this was the first thing a magnetron child learned. It was to stupid to come at a Samos with guns but then again, often they weren’t aimed at me, but at my comrades. If those were cowards, they’d keep me close and use me to protect themselves. Which would be stupid as well, since I had other things to do than play bodyguard. I was here to fight and dispatch the enemy magnetrons.

Although I’d happily play bodyguard for Elane, if she let me.

Instead I dashed towards the raiders, always staying in motion, dodging and deflecting blows and missiles coming at me while looking out to make hits myself. By now, the enemy magnetrons had divided between those riding these demonic cycles and those fighting on foot, four in each team. I gritted my teeth, well aware of the odds – and of the challenge. The battle on day before yesterday had been a joke compared to this. Then again, this was exactly what I was training for. What I longed for. I charged at their circle, yanking on the machines to destroy their formation and distract them while their comrades on foot gladly accepted my invitation to fight. They came to assault me, but either I deflected their shards and needles or warded them off with shields of my own, formed quickly from the light sheets of metal on my armour. I kept on running, feasting on their frustration. When the riders closed in on me, I jumped, pushing myself off and away from their machines, using the higher ground for a surprise attack at the foot soldiers. Two went down dead, one was injured.

_Let’s see if they’re also good at deflecting blows._

I barely touched the ground before jumping again and I spun in the air as the cycles cruised around me. I grinned as I dismantled one machine and used its parts to stab its rider in the perfect, lethal place, then proceeded to cut the throat of a fourth raider, using their armour to push them against the injured raider on foot to finish her off.

For a second, I allowed myself to breathe, before falling again into a run. There was a point to my lack of heavy armour, as I tried to become lighter and lighter. To run, and to _fly_ , something only the best magnetrons ever mastered, and which would give me the edge to win.

I could hardly call it “flying” so far, to be honest. I jumped, higher than most human could, and stayed so for seconds with the right metal anchor. Pitiful, compared to Father’s prowess, and I heard his voice in the back of my head. But it didn’t matter. I’d improve, become stronger, faster, deadlier. My feet landed in the face of raider number six, making him oblivious to the spike stabbing his back, right through the heart. I rolled off, hearing a faint sound in my ears, like the ring of a bell. Or the pulse of Elane’s pendant. _Don’t look for her_ , I scolded myself, _trust her._ _She knows what she’s doing, she’ll take care of herself_. And if necessary, she’d take off the pendant and leave me in the dark about her whereabouts while I had my own battle to win.

There were two enemies left now, a foot soldier and a rider. The latter had reactivated their cycle and was about to roll me over. _As if._ The other one was hesitating somewhere behind me, more of a backup than an aggressor.

“Time to finish this!” I yelled.

In the distance, Barrow’s lightning ruled the sky, dispatching animosi raiders and their huge familiars; probably those the Montfortan animosi couldn’t control and chase off.

I ignored the faint thought of Mother, still in Norta. I forgot about father, dead because I hadn’t warned him. “He wouldn’t have listened,” I snapped, and charged towards the cycle coming for me.

I couldn’t have changed anything, I shouldn’t feel guilty. And today, I’d best him anyway, prove that I was a Samos through and through, a woman who won and had no fear.

Fear was in the raider coming for me and they changed their course, offering me the chance to attack by ridding them off their machine with a mighty shove just as they drove a curve. They weren’t as surprised as I anticipated though, tossing a spray of metal at me the same moment they were back on their feet.

Damn. This was the first blood of mine drawn today, but I couldn’t let that stop me. I warded off the other splinters in the air and grabbed my opponent, a fraction of my mind scouting the area for the last raider, who was still waiting but had to be ready to engage at any second. I had to make this quick. I threw them over my shoulder, about to kick, but they pulled me off balance. I rolled off, checking on the left-over shards and shoved them away a little with a thought. Was my foe aware of them as well?

I got up again, the raider circled me. I formed a sword and attacked with a feint, they blocked, raising their own new sword now. They loved this challenge, this kind of duel, too much, maybe even enjoying a battle with another master Silver. Did they – all the raiders – miss this part of the past, their homes? Deep down, I could relate to that. I missed the Rift, longed for it. I would’ve loved to be its queen, or just its warrior at the side of Tolly and Elane. The Rift had been home, had been my paradise, and I’d lost it. I scream, fuelled by rage and pain, pain that would not go away, so I had to push it out of my soul.

I tossed my sword at my opponent and rammed my shoulder into them. Only a distraction, another feint while I pulled a needle-like splinter into the back of their head, killing them instantly.

I panted, my head spinning toward the last raider. This had taken too long _, I_ had prolonged the duel needlessly. No matter. I ran, hardly as fast as in the beginning of the fight. Was that even more than five minutes ago? The raider offered to resistance as I crashed into him, getting both of us on the ground. I drew a blade and pointed it at his throat. “Checkmate,” I hissed.

He said nothing, shuddering. He was helpless below me, and young, almost a child. Finally, a sound left his mouth.

“What?” I snarled.

“Yield …” he whispered, desperation in his dark eyes and sweat of fear on his brown skin. I froze, doing nothing, and so I took in his agony for seconds, seconds that had to be torture for him. But … I could not look away, because I knew that feeling, that fear. Because I’d felt the same way when my father –

I jerked away in a rush, as if that made up for the last moments. “You yield,” I said aloud, tonelessly. “So you’re my prisoner.”

He nodded.

“Good.” I cuffed him in a symbolic act, then lifted my hands to show my comrades I was done here. “I have a prisoner,” I shouted, pulled him up and moved towards my allies, when I felt the pulse of Elane’s pendant moving closer, to my deep relief.

* * *

**Barrow glared at** me when we reunited at the transports. “You took a hostage?” she sneered.

I shrugged, although I knew why it upset her. “He surrendered, I accepted. Should I have killed him? Let him go? We need his information, Barrow. Or don’t we, General?” I looked at Farley. “Wasn’t that a secondary point of this operation?”

Farley hesitated, her eyes as unfriendly as ever. “Indeed, Samos,” she confirmed finally. “However, that was Haven’s job.”

And Elane appeared as if on cue. “And I’ve accomplished that mission,” she said, handing a bag to Farley.

* * *

**I leaned out** of the transport as we reached Ascendant despite the warning comments I earned myself. I didn’t care. I’d killed seven persons this morning and was only slightly exhausted, no one would get the better of me. Never again.

I smiled as I scouted Tolly, watching the outskirts of the city, squeezing Elane’s hand. I jumped out of the rolling vehicle despite further protests and dashed to my brother. His face was cut and bruised and I had to swallow my anger and thirst for vengeance. _Think strategically, Samos_ , I reminded myself. _He’s alive and seems unharmed otherwise._

 I hugged him. “We were right, Eve,” he mumbled, “the city was attacked.”

“It’s okay, you’re alright?” I asked. “No casualties?”

He shook his head. “Only a handful of dead foes, but …”

“But this was only a warning,” General Farley said behind us. Tolly straightened at her appearance, yet she didn’t even look at him. Her complete disregard was almost a greater threat than he infamous glare. When her gaze finally found him, what would she do to him?

“Haven was right, Samos,” she continued. “The raiders work with the Lakelanders, she found the evidence. Seems like those little mermaids intend to attack Montfort before they try for Norta again.”


	5. Evangeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAR STORM SPOILERS!

**Three weeks of** preparations, meetings, and discussions passed. Elane went to every one of them while I attended two or three. I still had to improve my magnetron flight, after all. I visited the raider I’d taken prisoner, Matías DeLeon, more often than those meetings.

General Farley vanished for her trip to Norta and left a sully Barrow behind who turned to challenge me in training, but wouldn’t react to prying. Maybe she already missed that moody eletricon, who did travel back to Norta. A part of me that drowned in lethargy, sometimes urged me storm at her and file away her every word, to analyze and assess their implications for Norta, for Montfort, for me. It was the scheming side of me, groomed for politics my whole life and needed much around Maven and Iris and, to be honest, every Silver. Now it was curious about what they’d left of Norta, while the rest of me was content to know that Norta was rotting.

I had no idea of the purpose of the trip, apart from the anniversary of Elara Merandus’s death, but whatever was happening there, it made things easier for me, as it did for my brother. His every step was lighter when he didn’t have to fear General Farley looming in his back.

But she came back too soon, wearing a strange confusion on her face I glimpsed when she greeted Mare upon returning. The moody white-haired electricon wasn’t with her.

* * *

**Elane was reluctant** to accept me pull away again from from Gisa Barrow and her girlfriend Vanessa, whom Elane had befriended. But I preferred not to meet with the rest of the family aprt from her or Mare, especially not to have the General witness me in any proximity to her daughter. So I’d refrained, yet soon I started to miss those afternoons filled with unknown recreation and the subtle diligence of creating beauty, and took part again. Gisa, Elane and I mostly worked on some design ideas for clothing while Vanessa, being a goldsmith, woke another interest in me. It was odd to watch her melt, mould, hammer and ply those tiny pieces of jewellery when I could do the same with a turn of my hand or just a thought. Did it humble her to see me in effortless metal clothing or in fights, I wondered, when in truth, I was the one feeling humble to watch her work. Vanessa was 16, dark-skinned and chubby with her hair half braided on her head, half left to curl beneath her chin. And she was also a Silver, a bloodhealer. Yet she spent her time and apprenticed to earn her living – although in a specialized field – with manual labour and perfecting skills whose necessity was dubious.

I hoped Gisa Barrow appreciated that devotion.

* * *

**It was out** of question that I also eschewed the ball taking place mid-November. It was the perfect occasion for Elane to wear her golden dress, finished just in time, and she was set upon preparing me as well. I was in for big surprises. Not only did she leave me oblivious about my make-up, Elane also produced one of my “old” dresses out of nowhere, the white one embroidered with small metal plates and sequins for an ombré effect that I’d already worn in Montfort on a former visit.

How?” I breathed, my fingers already gliding over the silk.

She winked. “I have to maintain my secrets, but you know, I came to Montfort with very well-assorted baggage.”

My grin widened. “And you’ll never tell me how much of my wardrobe you brought here?”

Her nonchalant expression gave nothing away. “Not that you can’t restore most of it yourself, if you desire.”

“Maybe I will, but while trying out new colours, as you do.”

“Oh?”

“I think of violet.”

“Purple.”

“What?” I frowned.

Elane’s brown eyes gleamed. “Love, you should wear a more vibrant shade than _violet_.”

I _hmph_ ed. “If you mean no one looks good in violet, I still want to try and prove them wrong.”

Elane‘s laughter sounded like a bell of brass. “I’ve learned that Wren and Tolly chose blue for tonight,” she said. “And rumour has it even the General will wear a dress and I have to see _that_.”

“ _Tsk_. Are you aware of everyone’s outfit?”

She gasped, then bended forward to brush back my hair. “I know that every important Silver in Montfort will attend.” She was very careful to catch every hair of mine as she knew how much I despised stray ones, and placed a cap-like net over my head, fixing my hair in a way I could accept it falling free down my shoulders, but out of my face.

“Officially, this is a national holiday but its meaning is a little obscure,” Elane said. “It’s the anniversary of the battle that took the life of Greta Radis, the last Silver ruler in the north, and it resulted in her son and heir giving up his claim to their throne.

“Greta was the aunt of the current ‘lord’ Radis. For him and most important Silvers, it’s quasi mandatory to appear in Ascendant, it’s almost like an act of fealty.” Elane might retell this lightly, like news that didn’t concern us, but it was obvious it did. We, whether called exiled Nortans or new Montfortans, were expected to comply with these customs too.

“What about the cousin?” I asked after Elane’d finally lined my eyes in black and blue. I stood up and turned to the mirror, grabbing Elane at the waist and pulling her closer.

“Complementary,” she judged, as I beheld myself in cold silver and white and Elane in shining, warm gold, her red curls falling from a high ponytail, her skin shimmering, her rose pendant on display on her collarbones.

Indeed,” I agreed.

Elane sighed. “Well, the cousin. I confess, I’m not sure. He died a few years ago, apparently. There were … other family members involved with the raiders and many of them opposed the government and their former lord, to die in the subsequent years.” She swallowed, suddenly in a grave mood.

“Unsurprising,” I said, harsher than intended.

She shrugged. “Well, we’re still at war, aren’t we? As we were trained for.” I nodded grimly, I knew that too well. “However,” Elane added, “of course we’ll met Lord Radis himself tonight, to discuss the coming campaigns and our defenses.”

“You’ll have a delightful conversation, I’m sure.”

“I’m also excited to meet this wife and daughter,” Elane said. “The lord married another high-standing Monfortan Silver, a lady from the western region. And the people talk of their daughter like she was some kind of princess, which gives me the oddest impressions.”

I spun my head to her. “Am I not your only princess?” I asked coyly.

She kissed me swiftly in reply, not noticing how I balled my fists, wrinkling my dress. I didn’t know this “princess” and already I felt sorry for her, and her parents. It had been more than 20 years and Silvers like my family, like me, couldn’t stop, wouldn’t change the way we lived. Still playing for power, keeping up the façade, backstabbing and intermarrying among each other. And like in Norta, it made me sick, but also gave me a faint feeling of belonging, of a familiar ground telling me where I stood and who I was.

I wondered if my prisoner had felt the same among the raiders. He hadn’t been a raider by choice, but did he despise or long for what they pretended to preserve for our “sake”?

 


	6. Evangeline

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WAR STORM SPOILERS!

**Evangeline POV**

**Under the wafting** flags of Montfort, the palace of Ascendant was illuminated by candles and lanterns beneath the dark November night sky. Elane and I crossed the small front garden and entered the building, seeing its halls decorated by more lights and orange-golden garlands on the way to the festive hall. At its doors, we took off our coats, smirking at each other in anticipation. We were gold and silver, literally, shining and in love. Elane pushed the door’s handle, I threw them open – and found myself stunned: The wall decorations were nothing compared to the guests’ attires, all in gold, orange and red and all shades between. They exuded the warmth of a realm of fire and I, clothed in cold white and silver, was the sole reminder of winter’s chill.

I’d violated the ball’s dress code severely, and stood out like a snowflake in the desert.

Even Mare Barrow, her mother, and General Farley were dressed up. Barrow in red, her mother in gold and brown, and even the General had put on a dress, yet also challenging the dress code with a casual, short black dress, to my tiny relief.

“Is there a ritual I don’t know about?” I hissed into Elane’s ear. She was amused nonetheless. “Am I going to become some kind of sacrifice?”

Elane chuckled, her fingers playing with mine. She kissed my cheek. “We’ll see,” she offered mysteriously, and slid away from me with a welcoming smile for the other guests. To be honest, I felt sorry for her, too. All that fuss about the golden gown, and now, on its debut, it was just one of many, its intricate design and making lost on most. Unless she used her ability to shine like a beacon; but I came to doubt that her intention was to stand out. That fell on me, and I couldn’t grasp why. It was the oddest feeling to be forced into this spotlight and all I could do was to recall what I’d done my whole life – walk with my head held high as if everything was beneath me to worry about like all went according to plan.

I wished we hadn’t skipped the dinner party and had already covered the awkward conversations and silly jokes about my dress code violation. Elane was as untouched as ever by the embarrassment. She sidled between the guests in their fiery colours, greeting and chatting like the perfect courtier. The Davidsons found her charming, and pulled her into their circle soon enough, surely to talk business. They matched the theme naturally, Carmadon in a white, the premier in a black suit, both embroidered with red and golden sequins. I nodded along their conversation, processing their words but quickly realizing how detached I’d become from their everyday politics. I’d chosen battle and danger over schemes because I believed it gave me freedom instead caging me in the webs of intrigues I was done with, but was that true?

Elane caressed my shoulder. “Do you see Lord Radis there?” she asked. I followed her gaze over the crowd, towards a prominent table. I nodded, making out the lord and who had to be his wife standing there. She was a majestic woman in her 40s, with a dark complexion and a lavish outfit. Her hair was pinned up in a bejewelled headdress, her green-golden dress as rich and of the same, uncommon style. Her husband’s garb seemed simpler, but in the same colouring and I supposed the shiny green velvet interwoven with gold threads had to be no less expensive.

They made eye contact with our group, and the Davidsons moved to join them, Elane in tow. When I stayed still, Elane didn’t beckon me to follow, but winked at me. _Fine_. If that was part of her plan, I’d act on it.

* * *

**Left alone as** Elane chatted – and danced – with the Davidsons, Lord Radis and other important politicians, I considered searching the company of Tolly and Wren, so we could commiserate being fashion outcasts together. I took me a minute to find them lounging on a couch to a less popular table, well away from the Barrows. They wore blue indeed, but seemed no less amused by it, and likely intoxicated. Envious of their lightheartedness, I grabbed a drink to remedy that. In my urgency, I only found a strange orange cocktail that was much too sweet compared to the alcohol’s bite. I preferred its physalis decoration and ate the fruit to chase off the liquor’s vile taste, then toyed with the surplus leaves.

“My Lady Evangeline.”

I found myself addressed by a young girl. “I’m Shraddha Radis,” she introduced herself, and I could’ve guessed as much, the family resemblance was too great. Wavy dark hair fell down her back, her brown skin a little lighter than her mother’s. She had her features though, and her green-gold-brown eyes had a unique beauty. Her frame was small and delicate, almost tiny. She wore a gown in a similar style to her mother’s, embroidered green and gold silk. Monfortan green, I realized.

I smiled at her and found myself at loss at how to greet her in return. I would’ve curtseyed to a Nortan lady of my station, and she to me, and weren’t we both fallen princesses? I hesitated and Shraddha made no move. _Should I kiss her hand like an inferior?_ Instead I reached out to shake her hand and she took it with a smile. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, my Lady Shraddha.”

It felt like a test.

I regarded her more, noticed how her bare head almost called attention to the lack of a crown – a complaint or to stress her humility? She certainly exuded pride and control. I felt a pang of compassion for her. She was like me, a few years before. The perfect high-born Silver daughter. Nothing about her outfit or her whole appearance made her look any older than she was, 14 at most, and yet, there was a maturity about her, a flicker in her eyes that bespoke the dragging weight of expectations, conventions, and the compulsion to perform extraordinarily.

I stretched my fingers to stop them from balling into fists. Hadn’t I thought that Montfort was better than home? Or were the societal rules we’d held up as much as our abilities a part of our Silver blood?

Shraddha put on a smile, an expression I knew too well since I’d trained my own long enough to turn it into a weapon. “I’m honoured to meet you, my Lady Evangeline,” Shraddha said. “My parents are enamored by your partner, but I wished to speak to you myself, as I figured both of us prefer … a rather direct approach.”

“You are not wrong.”

She nodded. “They’ll be talking about a visit, for courtesy, but let us be more open.” Her eyes fixed mine. “Their kind of conversation is supposedly non-committal, but that in itself creates a conspirative impression. That’s unnecessary. I say it out loud: We desire your advice and support in defending our territory.” I blinked, and Shraddha went on. “The border in the northern mountain range, to be exact. I’m sure you’re aware of our enemy’s threat of invasion?”

“I fight the raiders, my Lady.”

“Yes, but we know who sends and supports them. There’s more of a strategy that I – we – need to uncover.

“Will you help us?”

I offered an affirmative smile as Shraddha Radis wasn’t someone to reject. I wouldn’t deny her, and she knew it, her gracious expression said as much.

“You’ve met Iris Cygnet, haven’t you?” she asked. “Would you say she’s someone who risks a mountain campaign in winter?”

* * *

**I went dancing.** I danced with Tolly and Elane, with Lord Radis and the Davidsons, with everyone who asked me or who I wanted to ask. I gave cryptic answers about my outfit to those who inquired, and presented myself as so much more exalted than I felt.

Was this supposed to be fun? What remained of those social events without the power-play? Without them, I didn’t know how to act.

Shraddha Radis was right about all this sounding conspirative, even if their plans were wholly valid, lawful and reasonable. Iris Cygnet was very likely to attack, even in winter. But I wouldn’t say yes to the Radis before consulting Elane, and she maintained her innocent, joyful face. The need to talk to her privately intensified. What did I give about these parties? I was thrown back into memories of the balls and meetings where I had to sit at my parents’ side, with a meek demeanour towards them and a threatening one to everyone else. Deep down, Shraddha’s approach flustered me. Would it ever end, would I always be a political tool? But what else did I crave, if not to fight and have my loved ones safe at my side?

I waged a battle with myself, always reminding me that maybe, people wanted me and not my name, my family. That my efforts and skills were worth something, and valuable. My parents had wanted to hone me into the perfect queen, but in truth, my training only served to make me a prettier good for them to sale.

My dancing partner stumbled, stunned. I was sure I’d glared at him and softened my face; it felt so tight. I pulled away and waved at him. He waved back, friendly, but I was done with this party and no drink would erase that. I cursed standing out like a special snowflake.

Snowflakes were unique, filigree works of art by nature. But all their beauty was destroyed by the least amount of warmth. That was how it was with my family – if I’d wanted, craved, the warmth of their love, I would’ve had to extinguish myself.

* * *

**I couldn’t wait** to be alone with Elane again, to drown those memories in her embrace. To have her explain her intention of putting me in an unfitting dress – and then have her pull it off me. With a drink in hand to warm me, I went out to a balcony, hoping for Elane to join me, but also cherishing the solitude and fresh cold. The gusts outside fitted my mood better. To be honest, it was strange to attend social events when you were one of many again, the only outstanding thing about me being my false clothing. I’d expected to be a casual guest this night, but I wasn’t the princess in the centre of attention, as I was used to, either. And even odder was that I didn’t know what I preferred: being unique or fitting in. If neither made me comfortable, was I the one at fault?

I gathered my hair, again and again, since it annoyed me after all. When I shifted slightly, I saw a red shape from the corner of my eyes. Who intruded? It angered me, to have my chosen moment of solitude disturbed. With a flip of my hair, I turned fully to glare at them.

The intruder chuckled. “A nice evening to you, too, Evangeline,” Mare Barrow said.

I didn’t deign to answer while I observed her more thoroughly. Her flame-like dress was short and revealing, the cleavage artfully constructed to reveal skin while only showing the smallest part of the scar Maven had given her, as if it was just another casual scar among others. Barrow wasn’t ashamed of the scars on her arms either, and I envied that strength of hers in not hiding the fact that she’d been wounded.

I grinned at her. “Astounding outfit, Barrow. Too bad Calore can’t see you.” Indeed it made me wonder – did she wear Calore colours out of spite especially because he couldn’t see her – or because she missed him?

She shrugged, but I guessed her nonchalance was as faked as mine.

“You didn’t go with the General to Norta,” I stated.

She shook her head, I threw up my arms. “So all my machinations served only myself? I am a horrible matchmaker.”

“Oh no.” She blushed and scrambled for words, looking down to her feet in high heels. “No need to worry about us, Evangeline. We do well on our own, also when it comes to finding one another.” She glanced up. “ _I_ do well on my own. No need to needle me about him.”

I grimaced. “You should know, I always come with an edge,” I claimed, and the plates on my gown sharpened to spikes for emphasis.

Barrow looked dumbfounded, then grinned. “As I’m always charged,” she said, with the audible hiss of flying sparks.

I had to hide my smile behind a sneer, what terrible pun was that? But Mare seemed unable to stop laughing at her own joke, and I couldn’t defend myself. I giggled as well and suddenly, Mare was so close she might’ve hugged me.

She brushed my cold arm before she actually did. “This is better, isn’t it?” she murmured.

For a moment, I let down my defenses and let her be. For a moment, I enjoyed this offer of friendship. Then I pulled away, emptied my drink and went back in, leaving her behind with a fleeting “good night!”

* * *

**“I had no** idea of the dress code, not at first,” Elane confessed later on when we were at home, alone to let the festive mood run out. She’d helped me undress and while I would’ve assisted her as well, I enjoyed watching her every elegant move to undo her intricate styling.

“I only learned of it once I’d already planned our outfits to the last detail. What?” she spun her head to me, smiling.

“I still don’t know how it could’ve escaped your notice,” I said. Yet I couldn’t be angry at her.

She looked at the mirror again, using only the moon as a source of light, which she intensified and focused with her ability. I knew she watched the reflection of me reclining on the bed as well as her face. “There’re many things to attend to,” she admitted. “And yes, I was so excited about _our_ matching dresses that I didn’t care. We still looked gorgeous, right?”

“You mean the threat of the Lakelands?” I said quietly. “You think we should go with the Radis?”

I saw her reflection nod; that said enough. I wasn’t surprised we had the same opinion on this, but I pondered on Tolly’s. “I wonder what to do with Matías. My prisoner,” I added. “Maybe we should bring him along.”

Elane dropped something, but caught herself quickly. “Why?” she muttered.

I shrugged. There were many reasons. I didn’t want to leave him here, he could be useful. I had some sympathy for him, I felt responsible. But Elane knew as much as I did what threat he could become as well should he escape and return to the raiders. Only that I was certain he’d never willingly return.

“Hey.” Elane rose and joined me on the bed. Again, she wore one of her pretty black nightgowns while her cast-off ball gown was draped on her chair in a way to shimmer in the moonlight. She cuddled against me, her hands stroking my arms, my hair. “Love, what’s wrong?” she asked quietly, carefully, as if not to offend me. How it’d be if she did.

I shrugged. “You could’ve told me about the dress code.”

She sighed. “Yes – I should’ve. I’m sorry.” She kissed my cheek, then gazed into my eyes. “But Eve, I thought – who cares about those silly rules? Especially one as silly as a dress code. We’d just talked about it, right? How freeing it is we don’t have to wear house colours exclusively anymore?” She gave me a lazy, peace-making smile, and I kissed it off her mouth.

That was _so_ Elane. She’d play the meek courtier, suffer with the rules if she couldn’t help it, but undermine them at the first given chance. I remembered how sad she had been about her brother Stralian’s death, how angry about that of her sister Mariella’s, yet she’d plotted with me, with House Samos, the next day like nothing was amiss.

I didn’t know how it was for her, but in me, it built up. Every order, every faked nicety, every hateful remark or command of my parents. Even the way I’d felt tonight. We would’ve to talk about this, soon. I looked forward to the trip to Lord Radis’s domain, to the change of location, the tasks waiting there. But I also hoped it to provide the time I needed to find the words to describe the heaviness of my heart.

 


End file.
